Monday, May 25, 2009

3 years

I don't know what to say really, I mean in some sense it seems like many, many years ago, but truly 3 years is not a long time in the overall scheme of things. I don't seem to be as affected this year as I have in years past. (if you are a new reader, check out here or here) I mean if you look at Gwen who will be 3 in 6 weeks (AH!!!) she has learned to walk and talk and grown so much. But generally it still sucks my Dad is gone. Fortunately, this year I don't have time to think much about it, I am so busy with this packing and moving, I don't have time to focus. I am thankful that this year I wasn't depressed, that's a good thing, but I can't be sure that the depression won't come back next year, I have no plans to be packing and moving next year! I can tell you, I got super excited to find an old show that Dad and I used to watch on Hulu that I am looking forward to show Eric, he has never seen it before.
I don't have any new insights, I don't have any new feelings, and I am not sure I feel any different. Sure, I don't cry as much, but I still get teary (and if you know me IRL that statement, might just blow you away!) of course having a baby and nursing for basically the last 3 years could have something to do with the hormones, not that I am trying to make excuses. I am sure this post is random and distracted, which I think is how I am functioning at this time. I suspect sometime in the next 3 months I will be less distracted. But then again, I have 2 kids, I might never recover!


Beth said...

Thinking of you and your family! They say time will ease your pain - but I don't know about that!

Anonymous said...

love ya Mel!

Dawn Nolan said...

Sorry I missed this date, but I haven't been able to be a blog stalker lately. I'll be thinking of you and your Dad. Wow, he would have been such a fantastic Grandpa. Maybe he just needed a front seat in Gwen and Nate's lives. I sometimes find comfort thinking that my Mom is around during all of the cutest moments--and all of the trips where she wouldn't have been. Anyway, thinking of you and your fun loving father. I'm glad to hear you seem to be in a good place this year.