It hardly seems possible that I am sitting here at work. Especially after the events of the last several weeks. It is hard to imagine my Mom sitting at home alone wondering what to do next. I find myself thinking of my Dad a lot, maybe even talking to him in my head. My Mom said she used to 'talk' to her Mom after her Mom died...I was 2. I have a friend that told me that I have a "young family". He said this after my Grandmother passed away 2 years ago. My friend, being from an "old family" has had to deal with the passing of many close family members, I have not. So, I probably don't deal with death as I should, but what is the correct way to deal with death? Mourning and dealing are personal journeys complicated by the fact that people don't know how you will react, they want to help, don't know how and end up staying away or over sharing, there appears to be no middle ground. My parents have this crazy lady that lives next to them, she thought the world of my Dad and now feels the need to talk to my Mom about everything, things that are none of her business and my Mom can't get away. Blast it woman, leave her alone, don't make me come down there and slap you. Maybe I should send Guido...now that the hubby has passed the you'll be good to our Mel or else test Guido probably has some spare time.
It is bizarre to think that my Dad won't physically be here to talk to, not that he could say much when my Mom and I got to talking about the coming grandchild. But to just know he was listening and could comment if he could fit a word in. He was a quiet man, but he was a good man and that is what I heard over and over from the people that knew him. He always told me that you should make an effort to make people feel better about themselves. People get beat down everyday, make sure you do what you can to help them feel good about themselves. He was able to make people feel like he was their best friend. I have been thinking about that lately. I know that my father was proud of me, but that was based on the little he saw me, would he be proud of me now that he can watch me all the time. I guess I will have to keep that in mind from now on, so he can continue to be proud of me.