Last night's pictures

These are the most up-to-date pictures of our little one. I figured if I was going to leave you with pictures of her they better be the most recent ones we have! She is still being a pretty good kid. We ventured outside again today. We just walked to the end of the road and back. I think it is still a little too hot/too bright to have her out for a long time, plus I noticed she was hungry and although I had her in the sling, we weren't geared correctly for outdoor feeding. But, I thought it would be a good idea for us to be in the habit of getting fresh air everyday, just to keep my sanity! Here are some of her expressions. Many of you might be familiar with I am hungry!

I haven't figured this one out yet, bored maybe, or deer in headlights?

She obviously does not like the bunny ears. Seriously, we did nothing to her, Eric just said watch this and she got mad.
Finally, talking to Daddy!
I'll try to pop on after her appt on Friday to let you know about her weight gain. I am pretty sure she is growing, the question is how much!?

Photos by Eric

Today I dowloaded pictures from the camera with the intention to post. I still intend to post those pictures, but I was side tracked by these photos by the hubby. Apparently in the last couple of days he found the camera and was amusing himself by taking pictures. I was also amused, but as you can see by Gwen's reaction, she was not so amused. Since I am posting pictures by Eric, I will also include this picture my Mom should have found on her camera that Eric also took, many of you might have already seen it, but still it should probably be documented for the rest of you. The outfit she is wearing by the way will soon be going away. Gwen is almost to long for this outfit. The sleeves fit perfect and the bottom of the one piece rides a little high.

I don't know, maybe Eric will want to defend his pictures. They were not in the 'to not to be distributed' pile, so they are far game, yes?

Busy week

I haven't written here in a couple days, I just want to say, no we have not died, we are surviving. As a fatter of fact, Gwen and I ventured out of the house today, by ourselves! We went to Church. She woke up and was rather content, so I thought what the heck. I brought the sling and put her in that instead of lugging around the car seat. My Church, you see, is in the middle of downtown, so there is no parking lot. I think lugging her around in the car seat would be no fun and most other people use a stroller and leave that outside. I not ready to leave the stroller outside, but the sling worked well. I even was able to keep her quiet and I didn't flash anyone! I know she would have fussed in the car seat. She associates the car seat with moving, even if we have popped the car seat on a cart, we must keep moving. This afternoon has still been a struggle to get her to sleep. I know she is tired! She'll nod off for a couple seconds then wake up irritated. UGH! So, I guess the lesson to learn from this is, everything I want to accomplish I most do early. This is going to make for an interesting Thurs. The crazy business of our week starts Thurs, truly the only busy day we have this week. I have my follow-up appt with the Dr in the afternoon. Sometime during the day we will be receiving our new washer and Grandma arrives late Thurs. Friday is Gwen's 1 month appt where she receives her first round of shots. (sorry Terry!) I know my follow-up appt is a week early, her 1 month appt is a week late. So, blogging will likely be light after tomorrow/Thurs, when I will hopefully be able to put up some pictures to tide you over.
As usual yesterday was a good morning, but the afternoon goes much like my afternoons, where I basically have to sit with this fussy girl trying to get her to sleep until Eric comes home and I can get a longer break. On the exciting front, I can cross-stitch and sit with her, ok maybe only backstitch, but I did finish Gwen's cross-stitch for washing. After it is washed I have some 'embellishments' to add and then we can get it framed and hanging in her room! Yea! But, now what am I going to do with my free hand? I guess I will continue to read. Anyone know any good books? Hopefully sometime in the next couple of weeks we can get this little girl to sleep during the day, she sleeps so well at night, I wouldn't complain, except that she is rather cranky!
I almost forgot to mention, in the last couple of days, maybe even the week, Eric and I have noticed Gwen becoming more communicative...a real blessing not to listen to all those cries, but coos. She really does watch her mobile on her swing and coos at it. So cute. Too bad we can't put up video. I also caught her sucking her thumb, but she hasn't done it since and I didn't have the camera close by. When she realized that didn't give her any food she tried her 4th & 5th fingers, but that didn't work out for her either.

More pictures

The site wouldn't let me add all the pictures to the previous entry.
The rolling over pictures.
Playing with the digital camera options.

Recent pictures

Here are some of the recent pictures. I finally got a picture with her head up!

From the Godfather's visit.

High-need

It has been several days since I posted. Mostly because I have been not in a good place. These last days have been tough. Why, because no matter what you know, what you read, and what others tell you, if you have a baby crying for what you think is no reason, you are bound to think it is something you have done incorrectly and that is why your baby is acting crazy. This has been my problem over the last couple of days. (Despite this I have showered everyday this week!) It had gotten so bad that Eric stayed home with me yesterday, he sensed I was going insane. The day before that started out as a good day, Gwen was happy, seemingly well adjusted and during 'tummy time' she rolled from her belly to her back, twice! I had thought it was a fluke before, but 2x in one session!? That can not be a fluke. I almost got a picture. I was so excited. After that the content baby became a fuss bucket, the likes of which brought me to my knees. Yesterday, Eric understood why I am so tired by the end of the day no matter how much I sleep. It is rather draining. While we were in the middle of a feeding section I started doing more reading in one of my books. It was a section on fussy/colicky/high-need babies. This section described the Gwen we have been dealing with. High-need, likes to be held, cuddled and often wants to feed frequently. AH! Eric and I were astounded to read something that describes her so perfectly! This explains why during the day, when I try to put her down for a nap she often wakes up immediately after we put her down (even if I wait until she is in "deep sleep"). But, just to be sure it is not a food allergy I have stopped eating diary and wheat. We will see if that helps any. I tell you just my luck she would have a problem with cheese and onions. I don't think I will be able to make us dinner, Eric says it is not a meal I have cooked without one or both of those items. Her baby acne has gotten pretty bad and it makes me want to go to the store and buy acne cream, but I know the harsh chemicals would not help. It is not a huge surprise that a child of mine has a skin problem, my excema has been flaring up on my hands for quite some time now. Apparently the best thing for high needs babies is to put them in the sling and go about your day. I have been trying that, but frankly she is not so conducive to the sling, if she is unhappy when I put her in there. So, I guess I should try it out now, when I have calm and sleeping. They also suggest baby massage. I guess I will have to try that also. I don't have any baby oil, but I think they also suggested olive oil, um, for sure I will have to recheck on that b/c I am not sure I am ready to slather Gwen in olive oil! I'll let you know how this evening goes.

1 month

Today Gwen is 1 month old. Hard to believe, yes? I can barely remember the labor and delivery experience, I just remember that it was uncomfortable and when they put Gwen on my chest, I thought holy crap she is heavy. Truly, I think that was my first thought, after I thought, this baby can't be mine, she is too dark. The lighting in the delivery room was such that I had mistaken her bluish color for a dark skin color. Oh, the fun memories, I will admit now.
This weekend we had a visit from the Godfather and Brooke. If Brooke had wanted to hold the baby she could not because The Godfather held her the hold time. And, true to Gwen's form, she pretty much slept the whole time. I think she awoke for about 20 minutes, but she wasn't happy because she apparently was still hungry. We have some pictures, I will post later.
Today, I might be closer to figuring out how to deal with Gwen. Last night she was driving me crazy with the no sleep thing so Eric and I took her for a drive. She slept soundly we even got to walk around Lowe's and Home Depot, pricing Washers. But when we got home she was hungry and fussy again. I think I did finally get her to sleep at a decent hour, but she has been a cranky eater today. She woke up today at about 8 and wouldn't go back to sleep, except for a couple minutes her or there so I decided to try the sling at 12ish it is now an hour later and she is still out cold! YEAH! I can use my hands to do stuff, walk around the house, eat and even use the restroom without listening to her cry. Now, if I could just figure out how to shower and take a nap life would be good. Well, she's waking up, time to change her diaper and feed her.

Pictures

Last night was not so bad. Eric took Gwen for a ride about midnight, and she slept soundly until about 2a. Now, why didn't she do that for me. I took a nap while they were gone. She slept good again last night, only waking every 3hrs and going back to sleep immediately after she is done eating. I wonder what today will be like. Gwen and Eric are still sleeping...I am awake and hungry, so I thought I would post pictures while I am eating.
This first picture is of her 'skydiving legs'.

I know this is fuzzy, but the swing was moving and I wanted to get a picture of her watching the mobile.

Here is another 'tummy time' picture. One day I will actually catch her with her head up! Some funny pictures with Daddy. Hopefully raising her in this state won't turn her into a crab!

About last night

Last night was a pretty terrible night for us. Gwen was squealing. Not just screaming but that crazy high pitched cry that makes you feel like a bad parent. I suspect she was just over tired because she had been up most of the day without sleeping. I find that I have a really hard time soothing her to sleep in the afternoon, all she wants to do is eat, but yesterday she was awake at 9am and didn't go back to sleep. Very unusual for her. When it was time to start to get her to sleep all she wanted to do was eat constantly and we would walk the house and she would not be soothed. I finally (at midnight) decided to take her for a drive. Yes, me who is not supposed to drive but my child was squealing, my husband was sound asleep and I was at my wits end. So I drove for about 15 minutes on the highway before she started to squeal again (I put it on cruise so I didn't actually do a lot of physical driving) so I pulled off and feed her for about 15 min and drove back home, as soon as I pulled her out of the car she started to squeal again, but I successfully got her into the house and feed and she finally went to sleep. Do you know that it was still a hot and humid 80 deg at midnight?
Today she slept until about 12:30 and we had the same problem we have had every day, she wants to eat constantly and she won't sleep. I took her for a walk outside at about 5p and she was crying and crying after about 15 minutes. Is it normal for her to be awake for 6 hours without sleeping? I can put her down briefly so I can pee, but she always cries. I hope that I can look back at these posts in the NEAR future and they are a distant memory that I will have forgotten. Eric and I did get some fun play time out of her today when he was home for lunch, but after he left she was a real pain. I just finally got her to sleep and Eric took her for a walk, so after this post I am taking a nap! I am probably going to need my strength tonight. Oh and today, just for posterity I am going to mention that she both peed and pooped on me today in one changing. I was holding up her legs to wipe her and she projectile pooped and then before I could finish cleaning up the poop she peed! A great time had by all!
Well, I tried to post some pictures, but it they won't add to the page, sorry. I guess you will just have to wait until later.

The internal debate

So lately I have been having a debate with myself. It seems that Gwen now wants to eat constantly all afternoon long. It is more of what we might call grazing, or being lazy. Where she will eat fall asleep and then want to eat soon after. In the beginning I was ok with this because I could catch naps and I really thought she was hungry. Let's face it, after 3p it is hard to listen to her squeal just for no reason, she's not really hungry, has a clean diaper and seems not to have anything bugging her. I don't really get an opportunity to put her down in the afternoon because about 30 minutes (if I am lucky) after I put her down she starts to cry. I am pretty sure she is just overly tired and I would like to be able to soothe her to sleep without having to feed her or be able to lay her down and not have her wake up. I have tried our baby sling, but frankly every time I try it she cries. I don't know if she is just not used to it or she just doesn't like the way she is positioned or if she just doesn't like not being able to see where she is. But my arms hurt from having to hold her constantly. I don't know about you, but I am so not able to sit in one place for 4 hours without having to get up. UGH!
Today was the first day I really tried to make sure we were on more of schedule, not just sitting in one place watching tv, because truly there is really nothing worth watching. I have tried to do my best to keep her awake for her feedings, and only feeding every 1.5-2hours. We only had one real problem spot where she seemed to want to eat for a long time, like she wasn't getting enough. But then by 4:30 I was pretty exhausted and she was crying, but tired, not hungry. I could only pace for so long, I tried to use a pacifier (which only gave short breaks, very hard to pace, pat the back, hold the baby and keep pacifier in mouth simultaneously). But after about a 1/2 hour, actually maybe it was closer to an hour, I couldn't take anymore and let her eat, it was close to time, but she didn't get much sleep. I know in my gut this is the right thing to do, but man is it draining. I am sure eventually I am going to want to leave the house in the afternoon (of course not right now when it is over 100). I am thinking that this tyke is going to be hard to get down for naps and might forgo them altogether.
On the more humorous side of today, when we did tummy time, she was so funny, instead of lifting her head she lifts her legs, kind of reminding me of position we were supposed to be in when I went skydiving. I know she has good head control, not total head control, but we will get there. I know for sure when she was in the swing she was watching the mobile, I saw her eyes following it, I wish I could get a picture of that. Well, Eric's home, dinner's almost ready and he has Gwen and she is not crying! She'll most likely wait until I get my plate of yummy hot food, they have a sixth sense about that, don't they?

Working day

Today at about 10am the power went out at our house. So Eric came home and picked us up at about 12 so we weren't sitting in the house without power. I tell you it is a pain to be sitting at your former place of business trying to keep an overly fussy baby quiet. Finally after 2.5 hours I got her to take a nap. Which is great, because we hardly slept last night.
She woke up before I could finish this entry and now she is with Daddy. She seems pretty alert so we might try tummy time again.

Stuff

This weekend was more learning about the personality of our lovely Gwen. We found that if given the opportunity she will eat all day. We also found that she loves to walk the stairs of our house with her Daddy. He turns up the iPOD if she is crying and he swears she already has music preferences. He also rocked her in his video chair, when he got tired of walking! Thank goodness for those things, now we have a 'rocking chair' on each floor!


Gwen is really starting to follow objects with her eyes. Today I spied her looking at the mobile above her swing. We also started 'tummy time'. She is having more control over her head. Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture of that so much, mostly of her eating the catepillar, but what can I say I am new at this. I am really disappointed though, because she rolled herself right off the catepillar and I was so shocked I missed that picture opportunity also, you will just have to fill in the blanks with the pictures I did get.
I pulled her up a little after this picture and she played for a couple minutes with the mat before the roll over. (Do you think her hair has gotten lighter? I can't tell as much in this picture, but she certainly has her Dad's hairline...he is the one that commented on it first, or I would have never written it here!)


As you can see she was just as shocked as I was!

Murphy's law

Today we gave Gwen a bath, not a sponge bath, but we tried to sit her in the little tub to wash her...not so successful. She seems to not enjoy having her clothes off (which as long it stays true is good news for us as parents!) Here are some pictures from today's events.





The reason why this is Murphy's law because the next time I changed her diaper she had a large poop. UGH!

This is another picture from the other day when I went to the dentist. Eric loves this outfit...we will have to get another picture where you can actually see the outfit.

FedEx, Dr's visit, etc

So, this morning was the Dr's visit that would decide our fate! We went in, got weighed and she was 9lb, 4oz! I don't know how she could have gained so much weight, but I didn't ask questions, just scurried on home to get her feed, thank goodness we live 1min from the Dr's office.
The last couple of days can be summed up with the following story. We were sitting on the couch in the living room, Gwen was eating, I was prodding her along when we heard someone frantically yelling STOP! I look out the window and see the FedEx truck parked oddly next to my car. About 5 minutes later, the shame faced FedEx man was asking if that was my car, I said it was and he said, my trainee accidentally hit your car. So, I drag my poor hungry, mostly naked baby out to the car to look at the damage. Really, just a couple of scratches, but still an inconvenience, esp since Gwen was trying to eat my arm.
With the last couple of days being so crazy, we haven't taken many pictures. We have some to download, hopefully this weekend. As to no driving 6-weeks thing, don't know why they said that, but will probably ignore that, as I ignore the rest of the Doc's advice. Or, maybe I will be responsible and call, since that was what the nurse said at discharge.

Thanks...

everyone for your support while Gwen and I go through this learning process. Last night Eric did give Gwen a supplementation bottle. This morning I found her to be incredibly sleepy. I could not wake her up for her feedings. This morning we went to the dentist, Eric had to drive because I still cannot. I feed her before we left, but did not finish. I expected her to be cranky, but she was not, slept right through my appointment and until almost 4 hours later. By this time I was concerned, she had no wet diapers or anything and I could not wake her for more than a couple minutes. Yesterday I had called La Leche (still have not heard back) and I called a different person this afternoon, only to find that the number was incorrect. How frustrating! I also called the Hospital lactation consultants. I just noticed they left a message (when I don't know, b/c I have been home!) I also spoke with my doula, who was conviently in the area and had a book for me to read so she stopped by. While she was here we finally woke Gwen up...5 hours after she last ate. As the doula was here we feed and to my surprise we might have figured out the problem. We have a lazy girl on our hands! (ok, so I shouldn't have been surprised, my Mom is probably thinking, just like her mother!) The Dr had told me 15 minutes on a side, but this little tyke generally becomes lazy and stops eating correctly after several minutes. She looks like she is eating, but in truth she is just not swallowing so she is not really eating. We really had to mess with the poor girl to keep her awake! And when she was full, a good 45 minutes later we had a happy and content baby on our hands that did not go back to sleep. So, 2 hrs later I started feeding her again, same thing, struggle to keep her awake and feeding. So, I hope this solves our problem. We had a little latching-on adjustment to do. It seems I have to be more proactive with this little one to get her to do everything right. So, if we are correct, when the Gwen is tired and I am watching the clock, she is not getting enough of my milk, because she has become lazy and doesn't actually eat much in 15 minutes. She is not getting the 'hind milk', the milk with all the calories. We will see how this theory holds tonight along with me drinking and eating more.

Supplementation

Gwen and I are back from the Dr's visit. It was not a good visit. Well, I guess it wasn't a bad visit, except he put 'slow growth' on her chart. I have to say part of it doesn't make any sense, and now more of what we have been going through makes sense. She has grown a 1/2 in since birth and has gained some circumference around her head, but she has no weight gain. The thing that doesn't make since is that I am trying to breastfeed, so why would the Dr recommend supplementation of formula, wouldn't this end up decreasing my milk supply. If she is not getting enough milk, from me and I start supplementing then doesn't that mean the whole supply and demand thing for milk from me will decrease? I mean really. I tried to bring this up with the Dr and he was not very supportive, he said we need to increase her calories. But he told me she appears healthy in every other way! But now I understand why she has started to appear hungry...probably because she is! Is that my fault. I will admit, maybe I am not getting the calorie intake I should. It has been really tough, because I am not as able/willing to do stuff because of the baby (so much easier when my Mom was force feeding me!) But this little tyke needs me to be healthy, so I need to suck it up and get up in the morning and eat breakfast. Maybe I should start drinking milkshakes! And I will be calling the Le Leche League to talk to them about what suggestions they have. I wonder if I need to be more pro-active about her latching-on, maybe we don't have the hang of it yet. TMI alert: On a funny side note, I did try to see if maybe I didn't have any milk on the side I suspect she is having a problem nursing on after she fell asleep during nursing...and I did a squeeze and milk shot out...I was quite surprised, as you might imagine.

Last night

I made my first panicked call to the Dr last night. Gwen was acted fussy and the only way we could soothe her was by feeding (a pacifier would not soothe her either, I tried!). After 3 hours of that, I called the Dr. Who, called us back 20 minutes later and was no help. I had taken her temp, normal, given her gas drops; but nothing helped. So at 12:30, Eric and I hopped in the car and drove around for an hour. I think she would have been fine during the car ride had we not gone higher in elevation. She was fine until we hit the mountain, then she started crying. I finally got her soothed with the pacifier and we had turned around so she got upset again. When we finally got home and feed her, she went right out. YEA! Today, she has been pretty 'normal'. I don't know what was bothering her last night, but I am hoping that we don't have another night like that for quite some time! (I told you she was just showing off for Grandma.)
In other news, her umbilical cord fell off today. It has been hanging by a thread for days. I am so glad I don't have to worry about that anymore!

Family outing

Thursday we took Gwen out for her first outing. Our stroller has a carriage feature so we could lay her in there and go for a little walk. Unfortunately, I still can't walk very far, walk around up and down the stairs here, yes, but going for a walk is a different story. We went out last night also, this time we upped the ante and walked to Blockbuster and got a movie!

Eric dressed Gwen last night in the outfit I have been avoiding. As you can tell, Gwen was not pleased! Doesn't it just make you proud...she already knows the Packers are NOT her team.


In other news, I was talking with my neighbor whose wife had a baby mid-May. He told me that the other night was the first time they got a 4 hour block of sleeping out of the baby. Made me so proud. Gwen has been sleeping in 4 hour blocks at night since we brought her home. I guess it helps that my baby was 9lbs at birth, theirs was a week early by c-section, he still seems small to me and he has almost 2 months on Gwen. We haven't done a side-by side comparison yet, but we already know Gwen is a chunky monkey.

First introduction to some of the family

This past Sat, my Mom's baby brother and family came to meet Gwen. They brought dinner and left us the left-overs...THANKS! We had a nice time with them. It was the first time I spent any time on the middle floor of the house. Unfortunately for them, Gwen was a tired baby who choose to spend most of the time sleeping. I think she did open her eyes briefly, but we don't have any proof. (at her Dr's visit this Monday, the Dr confirmed that Gwen was one of the most alert babies she has ever seen at the 1 week appointment. Most of them won't keep their eyes open long enough for the examination, but our baby did! She also weighed in at 8.12oz, we go back next week for another weight check)

Promised pictures

From the first bath:





Maybe more tomorrow.

Burping and other stuff

Most recently, the hardest thing to get this little one to do is burp. This makes the night feedings more of a challenge! Of course this morning I had to wake her, otherwise she probably would have gone more than the 5 hours it already was, and when you are breastfeeding, that isn't necessarily a good thing! But I glowingly digress, what is it that makes the burping take so long? I know it is not technique, Grandma doesn't have an easier time than I do. I read in a book that if it takes longer than 10 minutes, you don't have to burp her. When it takes so long to burp, she wakes up and wants to eat more, doesn't that just defeat the purpose of trying to burp!? I guess we will be asking the pediatrician today, at her first Dr's appt. Yes, today we will find out how much the chunky monkey has gained in a week.
Yesterday, Eric and I tried to leave the house with Gwen at home with Grandma, yes, it was my first outing since being home from the hossy. It was a successful trip out, we made it to our destination, but then had to come back home, before I could do any shopping. Stinkin' crying babies!
Today before Grandma leaves we will be downloading all of the pictures we have taken, so hopefully we will have some of the more recent photos up soon.
Eric goes back to work today, sorry that the bliss of caring for me and Gwen at home is over, now he must go back to work and face the fun of that...without me there! So by tomorrow it will just be me and Gwen, hangin' at home, hopefully eventually I will venture out for walks, since I was told I couldn't drive for 6 weeks! I will be calling the OB about that later, for sure!

Couple more pictures

Yesterday was a big day for baby Gwen, we took our first sponge bath! Today was a big day she met more of her family, Aunt Nanette, Uncle Bill, Sammy and JJ, not that she would stay awake. Pictures will follow later. We had a nice visit and hope to see them again soon, maybe Gwen will be more awake then.

Today

would have been my parents' 34rd wedding anniversary.

We love you Grandma! We miss you Grandpa.

Pictures

So, I know you are not going to believe me but I totally came online yesterday to do this, but we are having internet difficulties! So today, here are some pictures. I have WAY more, but they are on the other computer. (Some of them have to be cropped, my Mom's a nurse you know and I don't think you want to see everything!) So, here are some pictures from when our co-workers phone...I didn't ask his permission to publish, but I hope he won't mind!

Enjoy!

BABY HAS ARRIVED!

Well, for my loyal readers, thanks for checking back...sorry we didn't get back to you sooner. I will give the TMI information later, if you want it. The basic gyst is that I went into labor at about 4pm Sun. Went to the hossy at 2:30am. And...the information that you have been waiting for is:
Gwenyth Lynn was born 2:39 pm. She was 8lbs. 15.5oz. 21 inches long.
I did w/o drugs with Eric, Mom, and doula present. I couldn't have done it without them. Of course the times of how long I pushed and did crap I really have no idea, so I might not give more TMI. Our big beautiful baby is finally here and we were checked out of the hossy today. Pictures will hopefully follow tomorrow.

still no baby

Picked my Mom up from the airport...sorry not hossy. And walked around Baltimore. Today we went shopping still no baby. Hopefully one day soon!

No baby

well, as you can see I am still at home, waiting for baby. The hubby and I did go see Pirates II today, loud noise apparently does not bother baby and walked 2 miles. Still no baby. So, have a great weekend. We pick up Grandma to be at the hossy tomorrow (unless we miraculously go into labor, but at this point fat chance!)

Induction update

Hi all-
Here is the update on what has happened. We are at home. Took about 2-3 hours, starting at 6 this morning when I had to call the hossy to make sure they had an appointment for me. They wanted me to report at admitance between 7:30 & 8am. We arrived, became admitted and got hooked up to the monitors. Baby looked good, strong heartbeat, good beat. Monitor on my uterus showed contractions. Surprisingly enough, I never actually felt them. I did notice, after I had the contraction the baby started moving, so I could tell by the baby's movement not by my pain. The nurse we had seemed very nice. I wanted to make sure what yesterday's Dr told me still held true at the hossy. The nurse did agree with everything the doctor told me...if the induction wouldn't take I would be allowed to go home. I would be allowed to get up after 2 hours. For the first hour I couldn't get up even to pee, the second hour they would use to monitor the baby. The nurse then left to speak the to Dr about starting the induction. After quite some time the nurse came back with the stuff. She asked if we wanted to go through with this induction because 2 of our other Dr's had been in the hall discussing why I was even there. Baby is not in distress, I am healthy. I say ok, lets not do this, I mean if the baby is comfortable and not ready, lets give her a couple more days. So the Dr comes in says why are you here? I said Dr. S wasn't comfortable with letting me go over my due date. She said, well we are all concerned with letting you go too long, but your baby's heartrate is good, all is good, I am comfortable sending you home. She checked me first and tried to get the juices flowing. She asked us to meet her at the L&D desk to schedule the induction for next week. So, we have scheduled a test Mon to make sure baby is still ok, and if I don't get into labor they will induce next Wed. But the prediction is I will be in labor before then. So here's hoping! As we were leaving the nurses were all cheering, made me feel better. They were saying good for you, go home and let this happen naturally. Eric wasn't sure it was a good sign they were cheering, he thinks that they would only cheer if they didn't like me a glad I was going home. I guess this was just like a dry run for us, kind of like false labor without the embarrassment. Stay tuned for the labor update. But for now, just some walking and relaxing and leftovers.

T+5 days

Eric made a startling discovery this weekend, I am passed the due date and no longer in the T- countdown. I am now T +! We pretty much spent most of the morning at the Dr. He was pretty concerned that we should start with the induction tomorrow, not wanting me to go any longer past my due date. I was pretty nervous about going for the induction, being that I don't really want any drugs at all. He said that I am still thick, not totally ready like I thought the other Dr told me last week. So, he suggested the prostaglandin tomorrow, if it doesn't work, I can go home...they don't have to start the pit. He also said I could get up and move around after an hour or so. Talking to the doula after the appointment she said she has never heard of them sending someone home if the gel doesn't work. I am going to have to make sure that they will let me go home if that doesn't work, or allow me to hobble over to radiology and do the non-stress test and other things, if that doesn't work out. Whatever. I am still hoping that I will miraculously go into labor on my own tonight, but since none of the know 'natural labor inducers' have worked, do I have much of a chance?

Waiting

Still pregnant! I thought Amy would like to know! I realize at this point my body is ready, but the baby is not. Kind of like waiting for something you know is coming like Christmas. You have the tree up, all the presents purchased and the Christmas cards out, but you are waiting on Christmas. At least Christmas you know what date it will be! Looking back over my temperature charts I realize the actual due date is closer to July 4th, so I am not actually late, but I am impatient! Knowing that the little one just needs a little more time, doesn't settle me. I remember when Eric and I were trying to get pregnant. He just couldn't understand why I wanted to know IMMEDIATELY if I was pregnant, why I just couldn't wait until the missed period. This is totally the same thing. Does it mean anything to wait another couple days for my little one, no...but I want to be done with this now. In Church this morning, I was thinking I should start looking into exorcism, but isn't that really the same thing as an induction? Yesterday we walked 1.5 miles in the morning. We then walked for another 2 hours that evening and still nothing. Even though everyone suggests that, I don't think that is going to work for me. We walk all the time. I just have to figure out what thing I should plan for...like non-refundable that would cause me loose money or miss something cool. Maybe Eric and I should plan to go to DC for the 4th. I have always wanted to do that. It would be a mad house, but wouldn't that be a great story if I did happen to go into labor.

Dr's update

Yes, we successfully made it through another Dr's appointment. Fortunately, they called me back when they did, because I had given them 10 more minutes before I was leaving. I think it is safe to say I inherited my father's impatience for waiting at Dr's offices. I mean, don't you think waiting for an appointment for 45 minutes is quite ridiculous...esp when you are only in there for 5 minutes! ARG! We have had some random progress...TMI alert, the loosing of the mucus plug, but still not much in the way of contractions or dilation. I am 'open and soft', i.e. no real progress. We have another appointment scheduled for next Wed, but we (dr included) are all hoping that she makes her appearance sometime this long weekend. But truly, when has the baby ever done anything I've wanted her to do! So we will be doing a lot of walking, drinking tea, eating spicy foods and probably one more thing that I won't mention out of respect for my Mom!
Yesterday was a pretty nice day. The co-workers threw me a surprise ice cream 'shower'. They gave me a very generous American Express gift card, with the express intent that I use it on myself. I knew we were going for ice cream, and they yelled surprise, with the hope that it would start labor, but no luck! My co-worker & wife also gave us a little bib & hat that say 'little firecracker'. So cute, but I am not convinced that she will be here before the 4th. But, as they said, she doesn't have to be born on the 4th to be a firecracker. At this point, I would have to agree!

Happy Anniversary!

Amazingly enough we have made it to our 3rd anniversary. Not amazing because I didn't think we would make it, but amazing because we are not spending the day at the hospital. Thanks for 3 wonderful "couple-only" years, now for the next years as a family with kids, if our first child decides to grace us with her prescence. Love you!

Shocking

Yesterday I was at the organic store, buying some better produce than I can get at the local grocery store. The organic store is always an experience, but yesterday was a little more unusual. When I got up to the cashier to pay there was this slightly crazy person in front of me, I think she was on something...I don't know what, but she was a little off. Finally I got to the front of the line, and the cashier, who apparently hadn't seen me up until now said "OH MY GOD! Does that hurt?" (I could only assume she meant my belly, but who knows, she seemed rather shocked by my appearance.) She then said "I mean is it uncomfortable to carry around all that weight in the front?" This seems like a bizarre question to me, but whatever, I smiled politely and said, "not really, you get used to it." I guess for some people the belly might all of a sudden become huge, but for me it has been a gradual thing. I mean really it is not like they surgically attached a watermelon to my body when I was sleeping...it might look like that, but truly that is not what happened. (She has apparently never seen someone who is due in less than a week, or maybe I have only gained weight in the 'baby area' so she was shocked by my protruding belly when I came around to where she could see it. Either way, quite funny how people react!)
We are still under flash-flooding warnings/watches, but to my knowledge our area, although we have gotten a ton of rain, has not flooded, like some of the lower surrounding counties. The MIL would like some of our rain; unfortunately, I can not ship it to her.

Thunderstorm!

A bad line of thunderstorms have blown through the area. Yesterday I was on the phone and the storm was starting. All of a sudden I noticed lightening and heard it as static in the phone. I told my girlfriend, I had to go. She (being from FL) understood and got off the phone. As I proceded to cook dinner and watch the thunderstorm I heard sirens enter our neighborhood, not an unusual occurance for our neighborhood. Then I saw a helicopter, a lot closer than I expected. It flew over the house, and the whole place shook. Then I saw it land in the Weis parking lot across the street. Pretty exciting. The question was (we live pretty close to the airport) did it get caught in the storm and was forced down, or was it related to the sirens? It did not look like a hospital helicopter, more like a police helicopter. It left during the storm, after most of the thunder had subsided, but it was all very exciting.
Still no movements toward the outside from the girl. The fire alarm went off at work today and she wasn't the least bit phased. Crazy kid, doesn't she know that everyone is anxious to meet her...maybe she does and she is a bit of a drama queen and is going to make a grand entrance...now who would you suppose she would get that from?

Pictures

Even though I think these pictures are from a bad angle, I will post them, for posterity, and so my loyal readers will get a good laugh. I am sure you need a good laugh! Maybe not the best picture of myself and the baby, but what do you think of this one?
I think these are pictures of us at 37 weeks. Hopefully, we will soon have some real pictures of myself and the baby, like where you could see her and I wouldn't have such a big belly. Fortunately today it was raining, so I didn't have to walk all 4 miles, but we did do some walking in the stores. Still no contractions.

Dr's update WK39!!!!

Came back from the doctor with no new news on baby's trip to the outside. Still thinning, no word of dilation, nothing. So, he scheduled the induction date. July 6th! I was hoping for earlier, then we found out who is on call that day (the c-section expert) so I started drinking Red Raspberry Tea...ICK! But we want this baby out before the induction day, so I will do what I can. Eric has now prescribed 4 mile walks every day and we are starting all the rest of the wives tales. I don't know about you, but I am really tired of being at work! Yesterday as I was going to sit in a chair and the boss said 'is that chair going to hold you?' Excuse me!? I guess he doesn't value his life. We have also scheduled a 'back-up' to pick up my Mom from the airport, who comes in on the 8th, in case Eric can't make it to pick her up. So, I guess we are ready now; there is an end in sight. I think the doctor also stripped my membranes when he was checking...no action yet though. We are still in wait and see until the 6th.

Work rant

Today was a big day at work. We were introduced to our new business unit leader. Didn't really get a chance to talk to him, but he seems rather nice. This was an 'all hands on deck' meeting, our immediate bosses were there also. One of the bosses said, what do you think about sending Eric out of town the third week in July. WHAT! I don't think so. If I had the baby today, it might be feasible, but the baby might not be more than 2 weeks old. My Mom will be here until early Tues of that week, but I don't think he should be traveling yet. I said, oh Eric, don't you have a final coming up, isn't that the 3rd week in July, ok it is the 2nd, but Eric's like I am not sure. I saw that he was trying to tell the truth, but I didn't care. I know that I could probably handle the baby, but shouldn't he be home, i.e no travel, for the first month. Maybe by then I will be adjusted. The boss was like, we could send him away so he could get some good nights rest. Whatever dude, I am not sure your wife would not be too happy if you were sent away too soon after the baby is born. It is likely I won't have to worry about this. The guy running the program is giving the group the run around. The 3rd weekend in July is the 3rd reschedule for this test. I hate to be a pain, or do I?

ACTION!

Well, not to disappoint but there is no 'action' but I have learned what the person who uses the term means when he says it. As I was meandering to the water cooler I happened upon the action asker (AA). The conversation went like this:
"any action?"-AA
"I wouldn't still be here if there was" -me
"well there could be action and you could still be allowed to work, like dilation" -AA
"I don't even have them check, there is no point until I go into labor to be concerned about dilation, I could be that way for months" -me
"no, you couldn't" -AA
"yes, I could be dilated for quite sometime before going into active labor" -me
"did I hear someone say dilation?" -another co-worker who is apparently concerned
"no, no dilation" -me
AH! This man has 2 kids, unfortunately they are my age, so he has forgotten all about the laboring process, much to my dismay! Of course I could be a big fat liar, but at this point I don't care. When I go into labor, these people will know, b/c Eric and I won't be at work. It is likely that one of us will be responsible enough to call in and say, we won't be coming in Melanie's in labor.
In more exciting news, Eric is obsessed with this race to win the Volvo...I probably need to help him get to the next level, he needs my help. Solving a problem always cheers me up! But now he is on the phone. :(
I also have a new favorite phrase: 'procrastination on a project by you, does not constitute an emergency on my part'. This is a paraphrase, because I can't remember the exact phrase, but this seems to happen a LOT at my workplace. People have these looming deadlines (that they have known about for quite sometime) but they don't get us peons involved until the last minute and then we are expected to perform a miracle and get everything done. I am not a miracle worker, well I guess for the time being I am, in my belly, but no where else. This is occurring with a project I have been trying to transfer to manufacturing. I have been working to transfer this project since Feb. This should have been an easy transfer. They already QC this product, simple, yes? NO! They apparently haven't had anything pass QC in a year. WHAT! Now I have to re-teach them everything and I am not sure they are listening. How can I help? And why, since I have been working on this since Feb is this an emergency know? Shouldn't it have been an emergency back then if you couldn't get stuff to pass, not when I could go into labor at any minute? Labor at any minute probably won't happen, I think our girl is applying for permanent resident alien status.

Cranky!

Cranky, it has been a word used to describe me lately. Eric and I discussed it this morning on the way home to meet the pest control man (who did show up today BTW!). At first, I said maybe me becoming cranky is like some people becoming uncomfortable, I am not really uncomfortable, just sometimes irritable/cranky. Then, as we discussed it more, I realized that my crankiness, has more to do with the fact that I am 38 weeks pregnant and people keep expecting me to be done with this already. One woman this weekend was kind enough to tell me on Friday that "you look like you are ready to pop". I wish that I could have come back with some witty comment like...well, I still can't think of one, but something like I should hope so I am due today! (even if it is not true, would that make the person feel bad?) I told Eric, you would be cranky too if people talked to you about the things I get to hear. One guy came in today and said "any action?" Now my first thought was not one that I could respond with so I just looked at Eric (isn't the "action" what got me into this predictiment to begin with, and does he really want to know if I have had any recently?) Apparently he meant with the baby coming out, if there was this kind of "action" then I wouldn't be sitting here looking at you, now would I? Then he said "we're getting anxious about this being over with?" UM HELLO! I am the still pregnant one, how the heck do you think I feel? MEN! This could be why I am cranky, people keep asking me about baby, due date, and oversharing, as I have said before I would prefer not to remember that my due date is 10 days away, day 11 when I am still pregnant is going to make me depressed. There is a part of me that would like my body back, but I would like her to be fully incubated when that day comes. I just hate not knowing when, how can I plan for that? I would like to try to keep my Zen attitude about this, but inquisitive minds make it so hard. I also could be a tad bit cranky because my father just died. I am not the type to go to the 'depths of despair' when bad things happen, I just become cranky and out of sorts, but I would suspect not many 'outsiders' remember that I have been through that stress, so they just interpret as pregnancy related cranky.
In more exciting news, we have gotten rid of 2 more tacky previous owner lighting fixtures. Now all we have left is to put up the new fan, this is going to require way more work, becuase the 'master splicer' that lived in the house before spliced the previous ugly fan in such a way as to become a fire hazard. Not such a good thing, so the husband will have to crawl into the attic to replace/rewire. Yesterday was close to 100, so attic probably too hot to crawl up into, but I suspect early in the morning the attic would be a nice (ok not really, really hot) so we might be waiting until this weekend, which is fine with me. I am just happy that we have gotten rid of all tacky '90s lighting fixtures. People can come to the house and I don't have to say, embarrassingly, we will be replacing THAT! You may be wondering, will I miss the fake marblized fan/chandelier or the hunter green lighting in the kitchen? I would have to say HECK NO, I will miss them about as much as I miss the black outdoor looking halogen lights...I look at our new lights and I think, YAY, no more tacky lighting. In 10 yrs when someone buys this house from us they will probably look at all of our lighting choices and think the same thing we do now, but at least we feel more at home.

Dr's update & more

And the update is...no change! Actually I am not sure I really know, since again the Dr asked if I wanted to be checked, I mean if your going to ask, I am going to say no! (He seemed to have a slight cold and I had been waiting for the visit for over an hour, so I was a bit cranky!) We did have a nice little chat on how maybe I have made my belly too comfy (any suggestions on how to make it less comfy?) and that I should try to give her better incentives for coming to the outside. I have to say, all-in-all, I don't really mind staying pregnant, I just you know, want to make sure there is an end in sight. The Dr did say that if there is no change and no movement to the outside between my 39-40 week visit we can schedule for induction. I have mixed feelings about induction, Eric says, then you will have a definite end day. That is true, but once you start with the drugs for induction it seems to start a cycle of drugs, you know like when you 'break the seal'. Eric said at 39 1/2 weeks if I am still at no change we can start the old wives tales that get labor started. But, like I have said before, I want her to come when she is ready, just hurry up and get ready. Oddly enough she was on the opposite side than she usually is when we've listened to the heartbeat. I mean he found her on the left side when she is always on the right. How bizarre. I thought she was supposed to have less room to move around now. I guess not!
In other non-exciting news I decided on the Destination Dark Chocolate from MaggieMoo's I would also recommend that flavor! I did substitute pecans for the almonds. I guess I lived in the south too long. How can you beat dark chocolate, strawberries, pecans and fudge? YUM! I can't decide which I prefer, they are both so yummy. How will I vote and register for my free iPOD?
I think that my neighbors might have moved out! (The U-haul in the driveway, might have given it away) We had some neighbors that were renting the furnished TH next to us and they have been there for over a year. She had told me they were waiting for their house in NC to sell and her hubby was staying there while she and the daughter were here. They truly weren't any problem, but it will be nice since the baby's room is on that side of the house to hopefully not disturb anyone not staying in our house when she is crying. I am not sure I could handle living apart from Eric with our child for more than a year. But, I guess you do what you have to, which reminds me, I am going to find some spicy foods to eat this weekend. I have heard that pineapple also works.

Irritation

Last night I left work early to meet the pest control man. I was at home, doing some cleaning until a friend called. I noticed the pest control man outside, but didn't go out to meet him because he was doing the outdoor spraying, and I was on the phone. When I got off the phone I found the receipt that said please be home next time. WHAT! I was home! I called the pest control company, immediately and said why didn't he ring the door bell or what not. She didn't know apologized and we had to set up a new appointment! When we got into work this morning, he called the husband's work number twice and said he rang the door bell. I never heard it. How frustrating!
Work is a bit slow today. The bosses are out of the office as usual. We peons decided that when our boss was out of the office for the days we have lab meetings we would have an off-site lab meeting. In the winter, we would get coffee (decaf for me or hot chocolate), but now that summer is here we get ice cream! YUM! This new place just opened up it is called MaggieMoo's kind of like a Cold Stone, where they have flavors of ice cream and you get to pick toppings they mix in for you. Pretty good, last week I had Strawberry Skydive very yummy! I am going to try a new Fresh Escape this week, but it will be hard to top the Strawberry Skydive, strawberries, oreos and fudge, oh my! That is like a dream combo to me.
Another exciting Dr's appointment tomorrow. I can already tell there has been no change. We are scheduled to go to lunch with one of friends from AL tomorrow. He is up visiting the family, so nice of him to include us in his trip! It will be so nice to see him. One of the benefits of being near DC is that people often travel up here and they stop in to see us. So cool! Now, if I could just get him to come before 12:45! I am going to be STARVING by then.

Another day down

So, on an exciting note, one of my 2 readers has asked me to update my blog!!! Pretty exciting. I am glad to know that someone reads this, especially since I was feeling so blah about updating. Well my friend, you have given me new excitement to update you on my blah life!
Went to the Dr last Friday. After meeting with the doula Thursday night I had a new appreciation for the term 'false hope'. During the last month of Dr's visits they like to check you, invasively. They look for what they call 'progress'. When you take your childbirth classes you learn that you probably won't have any 'progress' until you are in labor, so why do they check you...to give you false hope. This is exactly what I had after our Dr's appointment 2 weeks ago. I knew the dilation was nothing to fret over, maybe 1 cm, but what does your thinning out mean? Does that mean I could give birth any day? Apparently not, cause here I am 10 days latter with a baby in my belly, who has not dropped. So, how does all this relate to Friday's appointment? The Dr asked how I was doing, I said 'there has been no change, she is still rather high, I am not uncomfortable yet.' This is when he said what endear me to him as one of my favorite Dr's...'would you like me to check you?' I said NO! (I might have been a little overly excited about the fact that I even had the option!) Why have him give me false hope!? So we listened to our baby's rather fine heartbeat and went about our day. I our next appointment this Friday is with the same Dr...will I possibly have the option not to be checked, I don't know, but it is exciting to think I might not have to be.
In other exciting news, we have packed the bag. The hubby's clothes for the hossy are sitting on top of the bag, but I imagine we will have time to plop those into the bag before we leave. As soon as I start to feel the first signs of pattern contractions, I am heading home (if I am not already at home)...I am hoping to finish the last minute packing stuff and then lay in the bed or watch a movie and hopefully relax and take it easy before we have to head on to the hossy. I know I will be SUPER excited to get the whole process over with, but I don't want to head to the hossy to early. When we were at the hospital before my Dad died, I saw all these super pregnant women wandering around trying to get labor started, they didn't seem to be having contractions, just wandering in their hospital gowns. I think I would be so bored and want to go home! Oh well, you never know what is going to happen. I had wanted the baby to hold out for at least another week, but now I think there is some work stuff coming up that I want to avoid so I have changed my tune, now I want her to come next week! I know she will come when she is good and ready, but when will that be? I was talking to my Aunt over the weekend and I told her that I am just going to shoot for the week after my due date. That way when she comes late I won't be as depressed when she is late and it would be a super nice surprise if she is early. So technically I have like 17 days left, but I am going to say to myself 24 days. I hope that when I get to day 24 the Dr talks to me about inducing, or I will be really depressed!
I must stop procrastinating and get back to the computer work the boss has set me on. I should probably try to finish that soon. I do have to say it was kind of fun for the geek in me to find out that sometimes the CDC will test products and if they don't work or there is a recall they will publish a whole paper on it. Makes me feel bad for the makers of that product, but it is nice to see that some products on the market that we know suck, do get negative press. Hopefully that doesn't happen with any of our products!

Full-term

Tomorrow I will be the scary phrase...full-term. This means that labor could start anytime in the next 3 weeks and they wouldn't stop it. I guess that means that any day now I could be holding my little girl after several hours of pain. Should be a rather interesting experience. I have been relatively lucky with this pregnancy. Random strangers do not walk up to me and touch my belly, only random friends and family. I don't mind that. Random strangers are starting to ask me when I am due, most are shocked when I say June 30th. Since pregnant bellies appear to be a subjective thing, I am not sure if they are shocked that I am huge, or shocked that I am tiny. I think that the men think I am huge, women think I am tiny. I don't feel huge, all the time, and I am truly not that uncomfortable. I also have been lucky that either people are telling me their labor horror stories, or I am forgetting them, I don't which, but either way it is nice. There are some days I walk slower than you can pour out molasses, but I think that is out of laziness and not because I have to. I could walk faster, but what is the point I need to move around every hour, might as well mosey, truly where do I need to be. Tomorrow is also our next lovely Dr's appointment. I really liked those when it was weigh, pee, listen, but now that it is weigh, pee, listen, explore, not so much fun. Last week I was told I was starting to thin and dilate, but that process can take weeks to actually happen. In some ways I wouldn't mind if labor happened soon, but I still don't feel prepared. But, with your first child, are you ever really?

Humdrum

It seems I am trying to settle back into work after being gone so long with my Dad's illness, death and funeral. This is probably a futile effort, since within the next couple of weeks I could be having this baby and life will be in turmoil again. A better type of turmoil, but turmoil nonetheless. On Friday the Dr said I am starting to thin out cervix-wise and I could be 1 cm dilated. I don't take much stock in the 1 cm thing, because the books say you could be dilated 1-2 cm the entire last month of your pregnancy, the cervix thing, now that is news! Does that mean the baby is coming soon? Who knows, haven't read much on that yet, I guess I should check into that. We meet with our doula on Thursday to go over any emotional trauma that might come up during childbirth. Since I am not real open about my emotions it should be interesting, especially during the labor. Goodness knows what is going to come up!
I am excited though, I reserved the flights for my Mom this afternoon. Crazy how quickly flight prices can change within a couple hours/minutes! Hopefully we will have the baby before then so she can be support staff for a very tired new Mommy, while very tired new Daddy is back at work and school. We don't have much else exciting going on. I have been wondering around the house putting together baby stuff that has been sitting in the boxes. Don't know if I need to do that, but while the husband is busy finishing his 'before the baby comes list', I might as well do something productive.

Back to work

It hardly seems possible that I am sitting here at work. Especially after the events of the last several weeks. It is hard to imagine my Mom sitting at home alone wondering what to do next. I find myself thinking of my Dad a lot, maybe even talking to him in my head. My Mom said she used to 'talk' to her Mom after her Mom died...I was 2. I have a friend that told me that I have a "young family". He said this after my Grandmother passed away 2 years ago. My friend, being from an "old family" has had to deal with the passing of many close family members, I have not. So, I probably don't deal with death as I should, but what is the correct way to deal with death? Mourning and dealing are personal journeys complicated by the fact that people don't know how you will react, they want to help, don't know how and end up staying away or over sharing, there appears to be no middle ground. My parents have this crazy lady that lives next to them, she thought the world of my Dad and now feels the need to talk to my Mom about everything, things that are none of her business and my Mom can't get away. Blast it woman, leave her alone, don't make me come down there and slap you. Maybe I should send Guido...now that the hubby has passed the you'll be good to our Mel or else test Guido probably has some spare time.
It is bizarre to think that my Dad won't physically be here to talk to, not that he could say much when my Mom and I got to talking about the coming grandchild. But to just know he was listening and could comment if he could fit a word in. He was a quiet man, but he was a good man and that is what I heard over and over from the people that knew him. He always told me that you should make an effort to make people feel better about themselves. People get beat down everyday, make sure you do what you can to help them feel good about themselves. He was able to make people feel like he was their best friend. I have been thinking about that lately. I know that my father was proud of me, but that was based on the little he saw me, would he be proud of me now that he can watch me all the time. I guess I will have to keep that in mind from now on, so he can continue to be proud of me.